Team Work

Good Morning. 

I was just making a plan for the day ahead of me.  When you live with an Alzheimer's patient, each new day needs a plan, although a flexible one, so that your time can be spent as smoothly as possible for you and for them.  It reminds me of when our children were small.  I needed to maintain structure and a schedule.  This allowed things to feel secure for them and more peaceful me.  Now that I am the caregiver (and in many ways the parent) for my husband Frank, I need the same type of plan. 

I remember being a young mother with several small children.  I needed a lot of support.  I appreciated all the help I received from friends, family members, and babysitters.  Now, I need the same kind of support from those around me.  I've learned how important it is to ask for help.  Trying to do everything alone only adds to the feelings of anxiety, anger, guilt, and sadness that are part of dealing with this disease.  I'm so fortunate to have great people around me who are willing to help. 

One of the first things I did when Frank was diagnosed with Alzheimer's was to sit down with our grown children.  We talked about the different ways in which each one could help.  One son lives many states away.  He would not be able to physically be available very often.  So, he offered to send money each month to help with some of the care expenses.  Another daughter offered to pitch in by assuming some of the jobs that had always been Frank's responsibilities such as looking after our finances.  My third child lives in town and is able to come on a regular basis and give me emotional support as well as look after her father on some occasions. 

Even with all of the help that I have received from my children, I still would not be able to look after Frank without the help of a good in home care service.  Its not a luxury that I am able to have time to look after my own physical and emotional well being.  Its a necessity.  I've also found that trained caregivers are essential in my situation.  At first, I tried hiring friends of friends that heard I needed some help.  They would show up with books and magazines to read, crossword puzzles to work.  Many people do not understand the level of care necessary when looking after an Alzheimer's patient. 

It was really important to me that Frank be able to stay in our home where we have built our lives together.  As his disease progressed I wanted him to be in an environment where he was most familiar and most comfortable.  So far, I've been able to achieve this goal.  But, I could have never done it without a lot of help. . .

Talk to you soon,

Gayle

PS If you need help caring for your loved one, contact your local chapter of the Alzheimer's Association for a list of resources. 

It Is Better To Give. . .

     I've been thinking today about the process of giving up.  Not the giving up of hope, or effort, or dignity; but, the slow release of some of the old ways of life that come with caring for a person with Alzheimer's Disease.  Changes happen on a daily basis and they can be difficult for caregiver and patient.  Some of the most emotional changes for us have been those that represented the "giving up," or letting go, of things that make you who you are...a successful, functioning adult. 

     So many things have changed and been released in the past years.  One of the milestones in our journey came when I realized during an afternoon of running errands that Frank's driving abilities were beginning to be impaired.  For some time, he had been struggling with remembering directions to locations that we had frequented for years.  Still, as long as I was serving as co-pilot; his actual driving skills remained intact.  But, one day I noticed that his response times and his judgement of distance were not where they needed to be for our safety and the safety of others. 

     We had a tough conversation that afternoon about the realities of where he was in the progression of the disease.  It was hard. . . for him and for me.  It is really, really difficult to accept that yourself or your spouse are beginning to lose abilities that are so integral to who they have been.  After all, Frank was the driver!  I can only remember rare occasions when I ever drove if Frank and I were together.  Even after all those years he still came around and opened the door for me if we went to dinner or to church. 

     I wanted to make sure that giving up his driver's license was something that Frank felt he willingly decided and not something that was being taken from or forced upon him.  I'm really glad that we made this desicion while he was still able to understand.  We went together to hand it in and to have an identification card made. 

 When we walked out of the Department of Motor Vehicles together, I was the one getting in the driver's seat. . .

Frank still came round and opened my door. 

Talk to you soon,

Gayle

My Alzeheimer's Bible: The FREE Playbook

Daybreak Adult Care is beginning a new series of feature articles that chronicle the experiences of those caring for loved ones with Alzheimer’s disease.  Read more entries by clicking the BLOG link at www.daybreakcare.com

Facing the unknown is one of the most frightening aspects of any illness.  This is probably especially true of Alzheimer's Disease.  Years ago, when Frank and I were first learning about what we could expect in the future, I was given a little book that has since become what I like to call my Alzheimer's Bible. 

This little book is simple, easy to understand, and practical.  It takes you through each stage of Alzheimer's and gives you practical tips for dealing with the challenges present in each stage.  I constantly refer to it as I try to be prepared for each day.  The more knowledge you possess and the better plan you have in place, the better you will be able to deal with the ups and downs of caring for someone with this disease. 

If you are involved with an Alzheimer's patient, I urge you to get a copy as soon as possible!

You can learn more about the book at http://www.alzheimersplaybook.com/

You can purchase the book via paypal or you can DOWNLOAD a copy FOR FREE


I'll be telling you more about how I've used this book in the future.  Stop right now and get your copy!   You will be so glad you did!

Gayle

Just Not the Same

Daybreak Adult Care is beginning a new series of feature articles that chronicle the experiences of those caring for loved ones with Alzheimer’s disease.  Read more entries by clicking the BLOG link at www.daybreakcare.com

There was no singular, dramatic moment when I realized that Frank, my husband for the last forty-five years, was suffering from an illness.  Sure, in the years that have followed I’ve had lots of moments that would leave no doubt that Frank is in the grip of Alzheimer’s.  But, at first, the signs were more subtle, were the types of things that can happen to anyone, especially as we age. 

One of the first things I noticed was that Frank was more and more frequently forgetting the names of friends.  Of course, that happens to me sometimes as well.  You know, you can see their face plainly in your mind but the name just refuses to surface for a few minutes.  Then, suddenly up it pops and leaves you wandering how you could have ever forgotten something that you know so well.

 But with Frank, little by little, he was forgetting things more and more often and unable to bring the knowledge to his mind as quickly as he should have. Sometimes he couldn’t remember at all.  And it wasn’t just names.  Sometimes he couldn’t remember directions to places that we frequently visited. He would ask me questions about which way to turn at an intersection, confuse roads that we’ve driven for years. 

Finally, when we began to get late notices for our utility bills in the mail, I knew something was wrong.  Frank had always been the one to handle our financial business.  He was prompt and organized in our personal business just as he had been in his professional life.  Forgetting to pay a bill can happen, but not to Frank.

 At this point, all of the things, some of them that seemed small by themselves, began to add up.  I knew this was something that we needed to talk to our doctor about.  As much as I hoped that nothing was wrong, I knew that we needed to understand what was happening.  So, I made the call. And together we walked into this next phase of our lives. 




Click here to  read more about the  10 Warning Signs of Alzheimer's Disease:

He Doesn't Know My Name

Daybreak Adult Care is beginning a new series of feature articles that chronicle the experiences of those caring for loved ones with Alzheimer’s disease.  Read more entries by clicking the BLOG link at www.daybreakcare.com

In the room next to this one sits the man with whom I’ve spent the last forty-five years building a life.  We are a love story.  We are a family story.  We are a tale of triumphs and challenges, births and deaths, gains and losses.  We are two people who decided many years ago to place bands on our fingers and meet each year that circled round together.

 Just like any couple, we’ve made our share of mistakes and we’ve experienced the highs and lows that are common to us all.  But, I’m proud of the fact that whatever life brought to our doorstep, we’ve faced it head on.  Now, as I make my way each day through the life we have called home for so many years, the we has turned to I.   

The man I’ve called husband for so long is still in this house but he can’t recall any of the memories it holds.  He can’t reminisce with me about those early, romantic days when we were young and the world seemed so full of potential for both of us.  He can’t squeeze my hand as we talk about the strong, solid people our children have grown into, how they’ve made their own lives, their own families. 

As a matter of fact, he can barely talk at all, doesn’t know my name, doesn’t even know his own. This man who once was an important figure in his field, who was responsible for so many people; doesn’t remember how to put on his shoes, doesn’t remember the simple motion of spoon and dish and hands.  My husband, like so many others, is in the last stage of a disease that instead of claiming its victims all at once, take them one small and vital portion at a time.  My husband is in the final stage of Alzheimer’s disease. 

These final chapters of our life as man and wife have not been easy ones to write.  But, they aren’t ones that I’ve had to complete on my own.  When the first signs of dementia begin surfacing and Frank was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, we knew we had to face this illness with the determination and spirit that we have given to all of life’s challenges.  Even though we were both standing in a storm of emotions - sometimes anger, sometimes sadness, sometimes denial that anything was wrong at all; we committed to learning all we could about the disease and planning for our future in the best way we knew how.    

I’m so thankful that we had some of those early, pivotal conversations about the future that we would be facing.  I’m comforted knowing that even though he can no longer speak with me, I am carrying on and making the decisions for him that I know he wanted.  This has meant a lot to me as we have gone through so many changes in the last few years.  It has also meant a lot to our children and friends whom we talked openly with about what to expect and what our plans were. 

I know many of you are facing something a lot like what I have been experiencing.  You may be at a different point in your journey and you may have made different decisions from the ones I have.  You may be having emotions or experiencing circumstances that are very different from mine.  But, I want you to know that you are not alone.

  I want you to know that there are people all over the world and people right here in our community who are learning how to handle life with Alzheimer’s.  There are resources and organizations that can help you better care for the one you love and better care for yourself.  I’m looking forward to telling you more about my experiences and the things I’ve learned that I hope will help you too.  Talk to you soon. . .

From My Home to Yours,

Gayle

Way to Go Dr. Gordineer!

Congratulations to Dr. Dale Gordineer who completed his motorcycle ride to raise funds for Alzheimer's and honor the memory of his father. 

 Here is the story of his trip in his own words:

Just wanted to let everyone know I completed my Iron Butt ride raising money for Alzheimer's Disease.  I covered 1561 miles in 34 hours 58 minutes.  That left 1 hr 2 mins to spare.  I must give great thanks to Beth for following me in the truck!  Knowing she was behind me made a big difference.  I don't know how to repay her.  We left N. Augusta, SC at 6:25 AM Friday.  I don't think it ever got above 60 deg the whole day.  It was windy and the truck traffic was awful.  We lost about 30 minutes in Harrisburg, Pa rush hour traffic.  About 50 miles from Scranton I actually left Beth at a construction zone and went around on the shoulder.  When I was 6 miles from my exit it started to rain...hard.  When I arrived at the hotel in Scranton my sister ran out and I couldn't stop shivering!  Beth arrived about 20 minutes later.  I think it took at least an hour to thaw out.  I was having serious doubts about finishing the ride the next day.  We spent about 3 great hours with my brother Larry, and my sisters Sharon and Shelley.  It was the first time we had all been together in about 2 1/2 years.  We ordered pizza, and had a toast to our mom and dad.  Beth and I went to bed at 11:00 and were up at 4:15 AM.  At 5:00 we were on the road.  Now it was 43 deg!.  Trying to dodge Scranton's potholes in the dark on a motorcycle presents a challenge all its own.  Again, I was freezing even though I was wearing a short sleeve shirt, a long sleeve shirt 2 sweatshirts and a leather jacket.  I think I was cold until about 10:00 when it finally warmed up.  Saturday was much more enjoyable.  Less traffic and no construction back ups.  We rolled into N. Augusta at about 5:15 PM to get the necessary receipts and witness signatures.

I would like to thank everyone who has sponsored me on this trip either through donations to the Alzheimer's Association or gas cards.  If anyone would still like to donate the site is still open here:  http://bit.ly/dalesride

Thanks to everyone for all the support and encouragement you provided!

Dale  "Iron Butt"  Gordineer

Cool Giveaway and Upcoming Events

We've been really busy here at our new location on Hayne Avenue. 

 Thanks to everyone who has taken time to vote for your favorite Midlands charity for the month of April.  If you haven't voted yet, there is still plenty of time to rally your friends and coworkers and win $500 for your favorite organization.  It only takes a few minutes so go and vote!

Also, we are having a fun facebook promotion that I know you want to win.  The first 50 NEW people to sign up and "like" our facebook page will receive a Daybreak tote and one of our yummy, signature ruby red slipper cookies.  So, tell your friends.

Tomorrow, Daybreak is hosting a tea at The Willcox Inn for all of the administrators of CSRA hospice organizations.  We work alongside  hospice representatives, following their plan, and providing the additional support needed.  It is our pleasure to be able to give back to these special people and recognize them for the work that they do.  They are true ambassadors for the idea that. . .

There's No Place Like Home.

10 Warning Signs of Alzheimers Disease

The symptoms of Alzheimer's Disease often begin subtly and gradually worsen over time.  The changes may be particularly noticeable to you if you have not seen a relative or friend in several months. 
The Alzheimer's Association has compiled the following list of warning signs on their website.  Click here to read the full article on the 10 warning signs.   If you have a loved one who is experiencing these symptoms, please see your family doctor.

1.  Memory Loss That Affects Daily Life
2.  Loss of Problem Solving Abilities
3.  Can't Perform Familiar Tasks
4.  Confusion of Time and Place

5.  Trouble Understanding Visual Images and Spatial Relationships
6.  Problems With Words When Speaking or Writing
7.  Misplacing Items and Not Being Able to Retrace Steps
8.  Poor Judgement or Decision Making
9.  Avoids Social Activities
10. Mood and Personality Change

The sooner a diagnosis is made by your doctor, the more time the patient and family have to prepare for the upcoming challenges they may face.  Daybreak Adult Care serves many Alzheimer's patients and are here to offer assistance and support.  Visit our website or give us a call to find out more about the services we can provide for your family.

Congrats to Healthy Learners, our $500 March Winner

Thanks to everyone who took a minute to vote for their favorite Charity Begins At Home nominee. 



You can vote each month at our website for your favorite midlands charity.  The organization that gets the most votes during the month wins a $500 donation.  You can vote for your favorite by visiting the Daybreak homepage.  

Healthy Learners is an organization that believes children learn better when they recieve proper health and dental care.  This group works with the school system to help children whose families cannot afford their care.  Crongratulations to this very deserving organization. 

Who would you like to see receive $500 for April?  Rally your friends and visit Daybreak to cast your vote. 

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Welcome Home

Hello and welcome to Daybreak's new blog!

 It's been one year since the grand opening of our Aiken, SC office.  We've learned a lot this year and we're looking forward to talking with you in the upcoming months about our services, the issues facing older adults, and the families who want the very best care possible for them. 

We'll keep you informed of upcoming events, introduce you to our great employees, and talk about ways your family can plan ahead for care.

We also want you to meet some of the truly amazing people we get to work with.  We enter their homes wanting to help them and they end up helping us. . .helping us see what love, bravery, and perseverence really look like.

Speaking of homes, we have a new one!  Welcome to our new office space, still located conveniently in downtown Aiken, at 1028 Hayne Avenue West.

More room for our staff and more parking for you allow us to continue to offer the highest quality service possible. 

Stop by and see us soon.  After all,


There's No Place Like Home. . .